Despair
by Cat2000
Summary: Legolas met a young girl trapped in cheetah form. In order to save her people, the girl, Astarai, turned Legolas over to an evil wizard who handed him over to a human kingdom, where he was tortured, almost breaking his spirit. Aragorn rescued him, but Leg


**Despair**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Lord of the Rings, and I'm not making any money from this fic 

**Summary: **Legolas met a young girl trapped in cheetah form. In order to save her people, the girl, Astarai, turned Legolas over to an evil wizard who handed him over to a human kingdom, where he was tortured, almost breaking his spirit. Aragorn rescued him, but Legolas has sunk deep into depression and despair. 

**Author's Note:** To explain a bit of background on this fic. Its somewhere in the middle of Eyes of Fir, which will be posted up here at some point. 

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_Why did she do it?_ Aragorn thought to himself as he looked at Legolas' pale face. _How could she have betrayed him like that? It must have hurt him just as much as the tortures those... _beasts _put him through!_

Aragorn looked up at the sky, and gave a worried frown. Night was falling. But he wasn't sure that they had covered enough ground to lose the men who were bound to be following them. Still, Legolas _had_ to rest. He'd gone through a horrific ordeal, and was hurt mentally and physically. 

Aragorn looked around, and spotted the entrance to a cave partially hidden by hanging plants. If Aragorn hadn't been looking properly, he almost certainly would have missed it. 

"We'll be resting there tonight," Aragorn told Legolas, pointing the entrance of the cave out to his friend. 

The elven prince made no reply. Indeed, Aragorn was not even sure that Legolas _had_ heard him. He gave no sign that he had. 

Aragorn carefully led Legolas into the cave. He sat down his friend down next to one of the walls, wincing when the elven prince groaned as his scored back pressed into the hard wall. 

As he went to collect some wood for a fire, Aragorn thought, _You'd better watch your back, Astarai. Someday soon, I am going to make you pay for what you did to Legolas!_

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Legolas watched Aragorn, his eyes empty. Devoid of any emotion at all. 

Inside, the elf prince wondered if Aragorn really existed outside his feverish mind. Most likely, he was imagining being rescued. Or, it was a new torture created by his captors. Give him the hope of being rescued, and then cruelly snatch it away. Legolas wouldn't put it past his captors to do that. So he refused to let himself hope. And there wasn't much point in talking to someone who didn't exist. 

Legolas shifted position a little, wincing as his bruises stung. He wanted to cry with the pain, but his pride wouldn't let him give them that satisfaction. 

Legolas' mouth felt horribly dry as he swallowed. He looked longingly at the water bottles next to Aragorn on the other side of the wall. Even if this _wasn't_ real, he'd rather have the illusion of drinking something. Maybe it would make him feel a little better. 

Noticing that Legolas was looking at the water bottles, Aragorn picked one up, and brought it over to Legolas. He helped the elf prince to take small sips. 

To Legolas' surprise, he could actually taste the cool liquid coursing down his throat. His captors appeared to be more skilled at illusions than he thought. 

Legolas closed his eyes, but he did not go to sleep. Instead, the image of a young girl's face, with laughing eyes the colour of fire, swam before his eyes. Legolas had only seen Astarai in her human form for a few seconds, but that had been enough to imprint her features on his mind forever. 

Legolas muttered a few choice curses towards Astarai under his breath in elvish. He really hoped that something bad would happen to the treacherous Mistayta. 

Despair overtook Legolas, and, before he could stop it, a single tear trickled down his cheek. Sadly, he thought of his home, Mirkwood, and wondered if he would ever see it again. 

Legolas replayed the events of his capture over in his mind again. He couldn't stop thinking about them. Though Astarai had got her human form and her people back, she hadn't looked happy. She'd tried to beg his forgiveness just before he'd been taken, but Legolas had refused. 

Legolas hated Astarai. Hated her with a fire that burnt higher and brighter every day. His hatred of her was the only thing that kept him going through the long days of torture. His need for revenge. But... 

While Legolas and Astarai had been travelling to find Astarai's people, the elf prince had fallen in love with the brave Mistayta. Her betrayal of him had hit him hard. But, no matter how much he told himself that he hated her, he knew that he actually still cared about her. 

"We have to go across the mountains tomorrow," Aragorn told Legolas. 

Legolas said nothing. Did not respond in any way. Aragorn waited for a while, and then gave up. 

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Aragorn continued to help Legolas the next day, but the elf prince still refused to talk to his friend, and Aragorn was beginning to worry. 

_If he continues to act like this, he'll get so sunk into despair that it will be impossible to drag him back out again,_ Aragorn thought worriedly. _If I don't get Legolas to Mirkwood soon, then it will be too late._

Aragorn rested his hand on his sword, and looked around, frowning. The elf prince moaned softly, but, other than that, made no sign. 

Aragorn felt a stab of fear. He wondered if elves could die of infected wounds. Legolas had been forced to work and been tortured long enough for dirt to get into his cuts. Rhian had done the best she could to stop the infection, but she had admitted to Aragorn that she did not know if she had managed to stop all of the infection. 

Aragorn smiled to himself as he thought of the young healer. Rhian had put aside her general dislike for males in order to help Legolas. The king had managed to get her free as well, but Rhian had wanted to go her own way. But she had mysteriously promised that they would meet again. 

Aragorn cast his eyes about, looking for herbs and other plants that could help with infection. He frowned again. He _would_ have to pick a path through the mountains that didn't have much lotus, heather, lavender, or Nirit growing along it. Still, there were a lot of paths across the mountains. Legolas' captors would probably have expected them to take one of the easier paths across the mountains. 

Aragorn helped Legolas over to one side of the path. "We're going to rest here, Legolas," he said. "I'll be right back. I'm just going to go and see if I can find some medicinal plants." 

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Legolas was sunk deep into despair. It just got... bigger. He was even more convinced that Aragorn didn't really exist. That everything going on was just a clever illusion. 

_But perhaps the illusion has tricked my mind,_ Legolas thought. _If I jumped off the cliff here, then it could well kill me._

With difficulty, Legolas struggled to his feet. He staggered over to the cliff edge, and looked over. 

Legolas threw his arms out to either side and stared up at the sky. A small smile touched his lips. At last, he would now be free. 

Legolas took a step forward... 

"LEGOLAS!" Aragorn shouted. 

Legolas froze, his foot wavering on the edge of the cliff. If he chose, he could ignore Aragorn. The ranger would never be able to reach him in time to stop him from jumping off the cliff... 

Again, Astarai's face swam into view in Legolas' mind. Her eyes were very wide, and she mouthed silent words. An entreaty to him... 

Legolas pulled his foot back, and turned round. 

Aragorn had dropped the plants he had gathered, and was running towards Legolas. "What did you think you were _doing_?!" he demanded. 

"Killing myself," Legolas replied calmly as though it was the most natural thing in the world. 

"WHY?!" Aragorn cried. "Are you crazy?! Don't you understand?! You're _safe_ now!" 

"Then... This isn't an illusion," Legolas whispered, realisation dawning on him. 

Aragorn shook his head vigorously. 

Legolas gripped Aragorn's forearm. "Thank you," he said simply. 

Aragorn looked at his friend, and smiled slightly. It would take a long time, but he was sure that Legolas would eventually recover from his ordeal. 

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